Traffic lights are the best place to people watch. I decided this while still wearing my cashier’s smock, lighting up my third cigarette, sitting at a red light at an intersection like any in the mid-west: somewhere by a McDonalds, a major grocery store, and the place of my employment – Walgreens. Had I known that I was going to die only four hours after my grave-yard shift, I may have made better plans. Instead, I fantasized about the people who were waiting for the same stubborn light at 7:12 a.m. Maybe the woman in the red Durango is going home to find her husband screwing the neighbor that gardens too much, and maybe that mid-life-crisis in BMW next to me is going to walk into his fancy-pants office and get canned twenty minutes later. I thought about these things mostly so my life would seem more interesting. Working the night-shift at a 24 hour pharmacy in order to pay my way through community college, driving the car that my sister gave me as a sympathy gift for graduating from high school was not the life I planned on, but who ever gets what they want? Minus the douche-bag in the Beemer next to me…may he lose his job, and his car.
I’m not usually this bitter. You might think it’s because I know I’m going to die, but I don’t know that I’m going to die at this point. All I know is this: I’m out of work, the sun is rising, the birds are squawking, and I’m getting pissed off because there are at least seven us here waiting for the light to change. I have approximately sixty-seven dollars (plus loose change) to my name, which is all that I have left from this week’s paycheck. It’ll buy me a bag from Juniper, and breakfast for both of us…another morning spent getting high and hanging out at Denny’s. She’s a simple breakfast kind of girl: coffee, black. Hash browns and bacon, both extra crispy. Usually I can tell when she’s in a bad mood because she starts ordering fucking fruit salads and skillets. I hope its not one of those days. Me, on the other had, I’m a glutton for pancakes. All kinds of pancakes! Blueberry, strawberry, chocolate chip, pumpkin, banana, the list goes on and on. If they created steak pancakes, I would be the first to try them. So Juniper knows that when I start ordering waffles, shit is going to hit the fan.
She isn’t just my dealer; she’s my big sister with best friend tendencies. Actually, she’s been attempting to play the playing the delinquent mom role as of late. She’s not remarkable, not some stunning beauty that deserves the covers of magazines and other superficial shit. She’s a real girl with real blonde hair and a real attitude problem (it goes along with the mom-complex that she’s been developing). It’s her attitude that makes her astonishing: I’ve seen her get in the faces of wasted men at least four times her size, and they always back down. You’ll understand better in a bit, when I take her out to breakfast.